Bands and their gigs from hell: tour stories, anecdotes and rants

Every band has its stories. Best gigs, worst crowds, most awkward situations, craziest fans etc.. and we tend to recall the bad ones as they are often the most entertaining. Gigs From Hell is a compilation of gig stories that this doggy found particulary entertaining, and the beauty of it is that a big chunk of the book is available free on Google books. It’s a rare glimpse into what it’s really like to tour, record, and survive in the cutthroat world of the -music industry-no holds barred, full speed ahead, the most cringe-worthy moments fully intact. And it goes something like this:

The worst crowd – I used to think the worst shows were always the ones where no one showed up. Where the sound of one clap was actually a wish. I was in a five-piece, all-girl, whacked-out, surfy, garage band called The Amulets. We were asked to play a birthday party. Sure, why not, right? Parties are always fun. Yeah, well, they tend to be a little better when the audience appreciates sounds a little beyond Yanni and Barney, the ambiguously-defined dinosaur. That’s fucking A right. It was a birthday party for a one-year-old child. Yes, we actually set up and played a full set for Team Pampers. Humbling? Mind-numbing? Surreal? All of those plus a cherry of embarrassment right on top. The only hope is that we somehow got in and warped their little minds.

As you may have noticed, gigdoggy takes pride in posting band quotes. Most of our quote topics aim to answer specific questions, but we also encourage bands to share their own crazy stories – so if you’re feeling nostalgic about the good ol’ days and want to grant us and our readers some story-telling, please do so here.

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The way bands gig swap and share shows (3)

More gigdoggylicious quotes on gig swapping here and here. Mruff.

We find bands to share gigs by networking, so far it’s worked out. I am going to be doing some shows with a couple of bands who’ve gotten into NXNE and contacted us (so I’ll probably see them at the festival), as well as a band I personally just tripped across on myspace, loved their sound/style, will be going to check out their show this week, but more because I just love their sound and want to see them anyway. If that match up works out I’m sure we’ll do a few shows with them, including one out-of-towner, which would be great.
Myspace, facebook are excellent ways to at least preview the band and get a sense of their direction/attitude. But there’s no substitute for seeing the band play live, and on that note I totally agree with the live video option as a great tool/calling card. We’ll definitely try to get one happening ourselves at some point.
SleepSix – www.sonicbids.com/SleepSix

First time I was half of an acoustic duo in Austin, we played a club there regularly and they booked us to open for another local band. They set up during our last break, and had some nice comments about us. We decided to do Neil Young’s “Old Man” for our last song, starting into the second verse I suddenly heard bass guitar…in key, perfect volume, turned around to look between lines (I did the lead vocal) and their bass `player grinned at me just as the drummer fell into place. We finished the song with bass and drums, it went well and sounded great, the crowd loved it. It ended up to be a really good night.
PaleoPete – www.bandmix.com/paleopete

Sharing shows is pretty common these days. Almost the norm. It’s a good strategy for a local band whose fans see them often. Get an established band to play the show with you, and open for them. That gets all your fans out at the same time, and the club loves the business.
The better question is “have you traded gigs?”
Trading gigs is getting pretty popular. We have had at least 3 bands ask us to do it. A band from out of town takes your gig, and you play their gig. It helps BOTH bands develop a fan base in each other’s states or cities. It gets you “touring” faster. As long as the venues are cool, which they usually are, it is a win-win-win for all three parties.
Craig Maxim – www.myspace.com/southernmischiefband

To me, just as important as building a fan base and getting in good with club owners is getting in good with other bands. If other bands like you and your music, they will probably ask you to do shows with them off and on..
Sylvan Lane – http://www.myspace.com/sylvanlane)

Sharing gigs is almost the only way to get one someday. So it’s pretty much the only thing we do. I can’t remember performing a gig with just the Fleets. It’s kinda weird, geez. I mean when you’re an indie self-produced and managed band like us. When you get a bit bigger, then you can expect to perform on your own (even if there’s always a first act to open for you…). I guess it’s pretty much the same for you in Canada. At least, I hope ! Cause it’s a great way to meet bands, have great nights and great gigs.
The Fleets – myspace.com/thefleets

More band quotes on sharing shows and gig swapping here:

• The way bands gig swap and share shows (1)
• The way bands gig swap and share shows (2)

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How some bands deal with club owners

If you’re interest in how bands deal with club owners, you might also wanna take a look at:

• How not to get your band booked
• What bands should know about playing in clubs

Dealing with club owners: your best bet is to put a cd together with about 3-4 of your best songs, go and talk directly to the bar owner…don’t bull shit them at all…remember, they deal with musicians all the time. Don’t be cocky, but be confident, this will help you get your foot in the door, also, if you can play the same place twice, there will surely be people who remember you and word gets out“.
Gunner – www.myspace.com/guitargunn

Club owners are always looking for someone to bring in a crowd, they sell more drinks, that’s thier bread & butter.
I only take the door. They can keep all alcohol sales. They like to hear that.
A simple contract always gets signed, 3-4 things on it only, you get the door, they keep all bar money, your sales are yours, ect. Some don’t want to sign a contract. You play at your own risk without it“.
Cowboy Elvis – www.myspace.com/cowboyelvis

Although I’ve tried for a long time to get gigs in clubs, it’s been very difficult. Maybe because we are mostly a duo and clubs like dance bands. But we’ve tried restaurants too. Seems that restaurants have a rotation of bands that play regularly. It’s hard to break into that rotation. We haven’t yet succeeded. We have to leave press kits and cd’s but can never seem to catch the owner in order to actually book a gig. They will not call you ever. They have their choice of bands – they’re not looking for more or for anything particularly special. Some clubs have acoustic nights – most of these evenings are open mic evenings. We are tired of open mics. It’s great for the venue – free music! But lousy for musicians trying to make a living. Some clubs require you to secure them an audience of anywhere from 30-100 people before they will “hire” you. It’s quite a scam – after you secure them their business, they will pay you only a percentage of the door! Sometimes this is split with other bands who’ve had to do the same thing. What a scam! We’ve tried to find managers and booking agents. We’ve gotten as far as sending our press kit and then never hearing from these guys again.
Our problem is that we don’t play covers – we do originals. We are far from mainstream even in our originals so it’s hard to find a club or venue that will hire us. We’re “not what they’re looking for”. If we were a cover band playing rock and blues we’d probably be working regularly.
Payment is hard to come by – because of all of the above. But we’ve managed to be sure to be paid for most gigs – even if it’s minimal. Here’s a good story for you…
After playing the local Pumpkin Festival for a few years for free, my partner and I decided to ask to be paid. After all, the sound man is paid and so are the staff. Why not the musicians whom, without them, the festival would be basically nothing? We approached the organizing committee and asked for payment. They responded that it was not their policy to pay musicians and if we wanted to be paid we should look elsewhere!“.
Rahel – www.rahelmusic.com

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The way bands promote shows (2)

5 pointer method:

How to get people to keep coming to shows:

1) Post about your show on MySpace, Facebook, and any other site where you can post events for your band

2) Every time you are talking to someone, if they ask you what you are up to these days (and this comes up in almost every conversation I have!), mention your show and be very enthusiastic about it. Be sure to have business cards handy that sends them to a website (be it MySpace or a homepage) that gives all the details about the show they need!=

3) During a show, encourage the audience to come talk to you afterwards. Offer to take pictures, sign autographs on CD, whatever! Talk to everyone you can at the end of every show and thank them for supporting you. Show an interest in what they have to say and LISTEN to what they have to say carefully. Take an interest in the lives of people who support you. Remember people’s names! Or at least some things about them that you talked about at the end of a show. It will come in handy the next time they come to one of your shows.

4) Find fresh faces… whether it’s a local independent radio (colleges and universities are an awesome source for radio airplay if they have a station), or local publications, your local paper, wherever. FIND NEW PEOPLE and tell them what you do. Give them a business card. Be enthusiastic but not overbearing. Again, show an interest in what other people have to say, because it’s not all about you!

5) Practice, practice, practice!!!! Make your shows the best they can be by being well-rehearsed and make sure you sound awesome at every show!
Union of Lanterns www.myspace.com/unionoflanterns

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What else?

Nothing beats getting out there and chatting with people about your music.
www.myspace.com/sylvanlane

It’s good to build up a mailing list to tell people about shows, but you have to get out there and get to know people and be a part of what is going on. (Think about how many shows you go to based on emails you receive…).
World of Melon www.myspace.com/worldofmelon

The best advice I can give you (other than finding a super motivated indie booker type) is to go out and meet the club owners personally or use contacts you have in different locals to get into places. It’s all about relationships… the more you know, you know?
Tims Myth www.myspace.com/tmyth

Concert promotion: it is a mixture of everything! Spreading the “word”, local press, fans, radio… difficult to say. If they pick you up it goes quickly, if not it is tough, but keep on working! That’s all you can do! Forcing prople to love your music is only done in the commercial music, but that i often don’t like…… :-).
Chrysteraerts www.myspace.com/chrysteraerts

For more quotes on band promotion:

• The way bands promote shows (1)

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The way bands promote shows (1)

The Band’s tale:

Booking gigs is easy. It’s getting a person to come that’s hard. So here’s how it works:
You look around at coffee shops and little bars that no one goes to and the owners are thrilled to have you come and play. But they can’t afford to pay you. You go and tell everyone you know to come and bring friends. The first gig you play you get 50 people to come. Then you’re thinking “This is so sweet! I love playing for a packed little house! And I made three hundred bucks selling CDs!” So you book again.You get pumped for another show and another $300. This time 20 people come. It’s a little disappointing because you don’t have the feel of a packed house, but you put on a good show and have fun playing your tunes–knowing that the crowd loves you because these 20 people bought your CD at the last show. So you don’t sell anymore CDs but they love you give tips so you end up with $26 and you had fun.You book again but his time you advertise, put up posters in music stores, churches, colleges, and you’ve only spent $15 on the posters. Now you’re ready to make another $300 on CDs.You show up at your gig and the place is quiet. You talk with the owner of the place for a half hour and decide to start playing just to practice hoping that car-fulls our people will show up late to your 2-hour show. You know college students are never on time anyway. After you’ve played through a couple songs 2 cars enter in the parking lot and in walk one groupie from the first two shows and your parents.
Ry Edwards – www.myspace.com/ryedwardsmusic

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The AR’s Tale:

What I hear artists say is the hardest thing (about booking shows) is getting people to attend! Sometimes bands are great about getting fans or friends to one show… the trick is find those fans who like you enough to come to your next one AND bring someone who wasn’t at the first one. Then turn that new person into someone who brings someone to the next one. Tough. And you’re up against things like weather (just ask the members of Boston Molasses Disaster (www.sonicbids.com/bostonmolassesdisaster), whose last show was canceled due to a blizzard), time slot, etc. But concentrate on the people you know who like you so much they’re willing to bring someone new. Those folks are KEY!
Benjy Kantor, Artist Relations Manager at Sonicbids : www.sonicbids.com

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gigDoggy’s Tail:

Some bands get along fine just doing the usual flyers /posters / word to mouth routine, others promote actively through social networks. Lots do both. Many bands get in touch with the local media and press, radio stations, music associations, local promoters, booking agents and what not. All of these techniques are tools that a band can use to get some buzz. But in the end, the best promotion strategy for any type of band is to tour and the tools should serve that goal. Sharing and swapping gigs with other bands is indispensable because fans of each border will communicate and get the word-to-mouth going.
GigDoggy, http://www.myspace.com/gigdoggy

For more quotes on band promotion:

• The way bands promote shows (2)

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The way bands gig swap and share shows (2)

How bands choose other bands to swap/share gigs:

I was in a band that threw a show at a teen community center about seven years ago. The other two bands on the bill were from the local high school. That way the kids would come to check out their friends playing. Turns out that the two bands hated each other. and their friends hated each other. I spent most the night trying to keep the peace and dealing with a bunch of brats. In the end, my band played middle (no big deal) and the other bands ended up trying to rip each other off and fist fighting (that is a big deal). The teen center didn’t allow another show after that. KNOW WHO YOU’RE PLAYING WITH! Ask the other bands if they’re cool with the other bands on the bill and the lineup. If the band you got a show doesn’t get you a show back, then don’t work with them anymore. Your good name is all you got. Don’t let others drag it through the mud. if you set up the show and it’s a winner, the glory is yours. If the show is a bust, so will you.
March into Paris http://www.myspace.com/marchintoparisband

We chose bands by going to their shows and seeing them live before we invite them to play with us.
Throw The Fight, http://www.myspace.com/throwthefight

I have done some gig swapping… it has worked out good for me… but I met the people at a show, so I know they are hard working and will make the gig I go to a good one. They know that of me as well… I am sure if it’s a hit or miss.
ID Required, http://www.myspace.com/idrequired

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Does gigswapping always work out?

Gig-swapping is always a risk. Bands often embellish their worth and/or bail out on their side of the deal. But it’s worth trying. If you win over any of their fans, they will talk about it and hopefully come out the next time your there.
Tims Myth, http://www.myspace.com/tmyth

When doing a swap with a band, always do a little bit of research on the other band. If this is a gigging band that has done its fair share of shows then they should know the deal.
We’ve swapped shows with a lot of out of town bands, and really, it’s just a matter of “you scratch my back and I scratch yours.” If a band comes from a long distance you hook them up with a place to sleep, hot meals, and show them a good time around your city. Make something special out of it. Just try to start good relationships with good bands in areas far away that you plan on going to as soon as you’ve earned a name for yourselves at home. One region at a time. When setting up a bill find some bands you have networked with, three or four, go to the venue you’re trying to play and present them with the bill; show the bills drawing power. (if you don’t know any bands, it’s because your networking game is weak. Don’t bother setting up a bill until you got the networking part of the game down). When you’re setting up a bill it’s always best to work out who’s paying for what as far as the PA goes. If you’re playing at a place without a PA. (and never play at a place without a PA unless you’re setting up a show at the teen community center or something like that. If you’re playing at a bar with no PA, it’s because they don’t do regular shows. No regular shows equals no walk in traffic there to hear bands, and the bar regulars aren’t there to hear bands.
March into Paris, http://www.myspace.com/marchintoparisband

Most of the time bands are always down and don’t fuck around with gig swapping too much, cause it gives them a chance to go play in a new area or city and get good promotion and what not.
Texas armed to the teeth, http://www.myspace.com/texasarmedtotheteeth

We’re friends with most of the bands in town, so they ask us to play out. We don’t even play remotely the same style of music, but there’s a lot of mutual respect. Once you’re in good with a few clubs, you can return the favor, or get someone to help fill the bill when you’re in a jam trying to find that third band to play with. Get in with those bands that see the scene as a community, not as a group of competitors. There’s a good chance there will be a lot of the latter, especially in the rock scene. The older guys are usually the ones to get to know. they’ve mostly gotten past that cocky phase.
Sylvan Lane, http://www.myspace.com/sylvanlane

We’ve hooked up touring bands and they return the favor. There are always bands that will get on a bill that aren’t that good, but it’s part of the game sometimes. I’ve also seen bands be not very good the first time you see them, but then 6 months later they slay!
(Anonymous)

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Mruff?

Finding bands = easy, choosing bands = not so easy. Any band should be wary of putting their reputation on the line for another band they’ve never seen before. Even if your musical styles aren’t exactly the same you should consider the outcome of the partnership. If they have a steady fan base and let you in on a tight venue in a city you want to access, in that case swap away. Good production tells a lot about a band. If the production is thorough then in most cases the live sound will be well finished. So if you like their music (or not, but they’re hot), they sound good and they are consolidated in your target location, there is one last thing to look into, and having looked into that thing in the first place might have rid you of all the other things: a simple video of the band playing live. This doesn’t answer all your questions but it’s the most direct impression your gonna get. Actually it’s not, sorry; the most direct is seeing them live. It’s worth taking your band out on the road for a short drive to see them play. Live is where a band shows its mettle. And you get a chance to meet their fans, which in turn could become your fans. It’s always all about the fans…”.
(gigDoggy, http://www.myspace.com/gigdoggy

More bands quotes on sharing shows and gig swapping here:

• The way bands gig swap and share shows (1)
• The way bands gig swap and share shows (3)

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The way bands gig swap and share shows (1)

Why swap gigs?

I actually think that “gig swapping” might be the best possible way to get shows… the problem is you have to be in a position where the venue owner or booker lets you bring another artist in to actually make the trade. The idea is if they put you on a bill, you put them on your bill. And the best shows are those that expose your audience to theirs and vice-versa, and that the two artists are close enough in appeal that the folks who would buy your music and swag and tickets would buy theirs, too. It’s tougher than it sounds to put together a good bill, especially if one or more of the artists aren’t known names… but it’s possible, and gig swapping creates friends and partners and can prove to a club owner or booker or promoter that you can be trusted to get people in attendance.
Benjy Kantor, AR manager, www.sonicbids.com

For me, a good show is one that has multiple bands (2 or 3) on the bill because that draws more people in the door. Keep in mind that for every show you do there is at least one person there that hasn’t seen you before”.
Publik Parking www.myspace.com/publikparking

I think gig-swapping with other bands could be the way to go. Over time we’ve scored some great gigs and contacts but find it hard to break into new areas. We can offer support slots to bands in venues that like us, and, in return, that band can organize support slots for us in their neck of the woods. It’s quite common practice and a good idea.
Anonymous

Of course, hooking up with a local act is best for getting gigs, so you can cross-pollinate their draw with any friends you have in the area, and try and win them over.
Tims Myth www.myspace.com/tmyth

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How bands meet other bands:

For getting gigs with other bands, I think the best way is to go to other people’s shows and check them out. Hang around after the show, buy the band member(s) a beer and have a demo of yours handy. You can say you’re looking for an opening slot for the future and to keep you in mind.
Linda M www.myspace.com/lindamsongs

Most of the bands, we meet either at shows or through myspace. Many bands are willing to do swaps. It usually works out well. I spend many hours each week organizing our show schedule. It is tough to be in communication with that many people but I know a thing that is tough is providing the same size audience that may have been provided to you. It is hard to make shows equal in value you for both bands when swapping shows.
Take One Car www.myspace.com/takeonecar

I made friends with some folks in NY and we just kind of took it from there… we trade out shows to get each other on the road as often as possible back and forth and anywhere in between… still trying to make it out to Europe one day ($$$!) and that’s about it… just networking, really. myspace is a great tool. Always people looking to get in the van… maybe I can visit you guys sometime!.
Dave Johnson www.myspace.com/davejohnsonsmusic

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Mruff?

Gig swapping is considered by many as a very important part of DIY booking and building a fan base. It’s about networking with other bands. Whether you’re looking for a gig in your home town or you want to extend your reach to out of town gigs, gig swapping is definitely something to look into, if not to depend upon. The process can also be thought in terms of fan swapping. Its important to find bands that you relate to, so the fans will relate as well. To find bands you must network, and all the social media sites out there can make it easy. You’ll find tons of bands willing to swap, share shows and basically just help out. A great way to find them is through band forums as most of them have dedicated threads for sharing gigs. Google around by typing in the search bar ‘gig swap + (city or region where you wanna swap or share a show)’ and kablamo! you’ll most likely find a local music forum hosting threads for sharing gigs. Be creative with your website: the Everyday Heroes have a gig swapping form bands can fill. Cool idea.
gigDoggy www.myspace.com/gigdoggy

More band quotes on sharing shows and gig swapping here:

• The way bands gig swap and share shows (2)
• The way bands gig swap and share shows (3)

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