Who here hasn’t heard of, or hasn’t used Craigslist before? Well, apart from being the most important and active classified ad website out there, it’s also a place where you can find fairly hilarious stuff. They have a section called “The Best Of Craigslist” where you can encounter the most crazy / unusual ads posted by the most crazy / unusual people. The story I’m about to share with you was not found in the best-of page, but I’ll submit it shortly after I finish this post. It goes like this:
backpack (to the guy who broke into my car and stole my backpack) (duluth and clark) (title of the ad)
First of all, thanks for not stealing anything else. I also respect that you got what you wanted without inflicting too much collateral damage. If you were drunk and doing it just for kicks, I rescind my expressions of respect.
There are cards in the pockets on which you’ll find my address. Please get in touch, or send me back my stuff. I’ll compensate you generously, you’ll be able to buy the same bag at least three times. All I really want back is my moleskine notebook, and my CD case and walkman. You can keep the rest. I don’t know if my bathing suit will fit you, but it’s brand-spanking new so you should go for a swim and break it in. The clothes and toiletry stuff is all yours too – who doesn’t need deodorant, toothbrush, etc? If you’re homeless you probably aren’t reading this but you needed my bag more than me, and you can gladly have it.
But! The Roots bag is pretty nice and all (it’s been to Jamaica and Turkey, it’s a pretty durable thing that’ll last you a long time) – but PLEASE DON’T just mindlessly discard everything in it. CD CASE especially, you’ll regret it hardcore. There’s a walkman and headphones; use them! I cherrypicked all of my all time FAVOURITES for the road home… and a lot of new shit that I have recently acquired/giving a shot. A preview
DYLAN – BLONDE ON BLONDE, HIGHWAY 61
I got this duo because it’s the ultimate roadtrip Dylan. A lot of people will argue that it’s the ultimate Dylan period. Some of the greatest lyrics, edit that, poetry I’ve ever encountered; the energy of Dylan fucking everybody over and doing his thing and doing it electric reaches it’s peak on these two albums. Has there ever been any side one track one that supersedes” like a rolling stone”? 11 min more heartbreakingly beautiful than “sad eyed lady of the lowlands”? I really don’t think so.
WILCO – YANKEE HOTEL FOXTROT
It’s black. Listen to it.
VAN MORRISON – ASTRAL WEEKS
Van doesn’t simply have climaxes to his songs. He scales mountains and then teeters and sways from on high; he’s poured his heart and so much work into every song and you can tell, he was doing majestic orchestral “pop” long before arcade fire; brian wilson might have done it too but he ain’t got nothing on this irish poet
GZA – LIQUID SWORDS
Speaking of poetry – mah FIRST RAP ALBUM EVER. Bought it in Toronto and I’ve never looked back. Liquid GOLD. If you like, there’s some Jeru, and Ghostface, and Doom, and a bunch of other goodies too (Lil Wayne if you’re looking for some solid entertainment). Madlib also makes sweet beats, he takes you to bollywood as the beat konducta.
k there’s so much more that i’m forgetting (shit the original classics like the SMITHS, BAUHAUS, ELLIOTT SMITH),……….um enjoy, I’m gonna miss the hell out of it all
This story brought back hardcore memories – the same happened to me a couple of years back. Someone broke into my car and stole a whole case full of CDs of my best collection. I was very, very sad. More so that most of my CDs were rare jazz releases that I have yet to download illegally. The culprit probably frisbied them against a wall or something…