“It’s not you, it’s me”
Nate Stiff – www.myspace.com/thepostmeridian
“There are many ways to do it, some of which may seem a little back-handed (of which I have been both a victim and ashamedly, a participant). In any case, I agree with the quick method. Nothing is worse than giving a former band member the opportunity to twist the situation around.
While it surely does sting when it happens to you, if you look at it in a professional manner, you should realize that the situation probably wasn’t right for ya anyway.”
While it surely does sting when it happens to you, if you look at it in a professional manner, you should realize that the situation probably wasn’t right for ya anyway.”
Joseph – www.bandmix.com/joseph6
“The way it’s always been in past bands and in my current band is by band meeting.
We try to not be dicks about it but tell them why they have to go and then help them load their gear out.
Now, in my current band, it’s a bit more difficult due to legal stuff as we are each 20% owners in our band’s publishing group – so unless it’s really something serious – we are bound to each other. Can you feel the love?”
We try to not be dicks about it but tell them why they have to go and then help them load their gear out.
Now, in my current band, it’s a bit more difficult due to legal stuff as we are each 20% owners in our band’s publishing group – so unless it’s really something serious – we are bound to each other. Can you feel the love?”
Chris – www.myspace.com/cabbamonte
“If it’s a problem that can be solved (drinking, drugs, late to practice and gigs, preparedness) let them know the problem, let them know that the situation is currently unacceptable and if it continues they will be fired. Offer to help them. Most problems can be avoided by being proactive. How you fire someone and how you replace them and the reasons for this action really set the tone for the future of the band’s relationship within the members who are left. If you do a poor job firing someone you will not solve a problem, only replace it with another.”
Chuck – www.leesjunction.com
“Addictions should not be handled by a band mate. Its counterproductive to the recovery atmosphere that an addict would need. Besides, most bands play in bars. Would you want an alcoholic continuing to be around an atmosphere like that? No. Same thing with drugs (which are fairly prevalent in bars and around other musicians.). If your gonna be trying to kick a habit, you need to re-discover yourself. Continuing old habits is something that most addiction medicine specialists would frown upon if the habits cause problems with relapse and sobriety or compromise recovery in any shape of fashion.”
Joel – www.myspace.com/deathcheaters
Move the whole band to another country, without telling whoever it is you want to get rid of.
Jimmy B
“I replaced a bass player in one band who was due to be fired, but simply stopped turning up to rehearsals, didn’t answer his phone, and no-one knew any other way of contacting him. I auditioned and took his place. Months later we found out he had been arrested on the way to rehearsal, convicted on quite serious assault charges, and put away for a few years.
Now THAT is one guy I would hate to have to tell he’s out of the band”.
Now THAT is one guy I would hate to have to tell he’s out of the band”.
Annonymous
“The biggest thing any band should do is sit all the members down and write down exactly what they want and make sure everyone is on the same page, If you arent on the same page fire someone or move on.
Make a plan and work the plan, thats the only way to have any success in anything. We layed out where we wanted to be a yr ago, we arent making quite as much as we set out to do, but we make enough for everyone to be happy and stick with the plan.”
Make a plan and work the plan, thats the only way to have any success in anything. We layed out where we wanted to be a yr ago, we arent making quite as much as we set out to do, but we make enough for everyone to be happy and stick with the plan.”
John Wilder – http://www.myspace.com/aintyomama1
How do you do it? You do it the way you would want it done to you.
No you don’t text or email. That’s for cowards. You don’t even do it by phone. You sit down with the person, whether it be just the leader and the whole band and you tell them as respectfully as you can.
Don’t forget. Bad karma. What goes around… “
No you don’t text or email. That’s for cowards. You don’t even do it by phone. You sit down with the person, whether it be just the leader and the whole band and you tell them as respectfully as you can.
Don’t forget. Bad karma. What goes around… “
Annonymous
I have been in bands for 42 years. At this point, ego doesn’t become the problem because it usually enters the room before the musician sets up his/her gear for an audition. Hence, said musician never gets in. What has brought the firing of late are time restrictions and family commitments or just not enough stamina to keep the show going. These usually take a frank discussion such as “we are not on the same path here and I hope that you understand, but we need to replace you”. Simple and polite because there have usually been discussions before this. They will be angry, hurt and might even make a few comments. Let them. Help them with their gear and make sure you say “do you have everything?” to avoid acusations later that you kept their stuff. Have band mates or even a manager around if you have one just to witness the situation. I have been in bands where we fired guys for being drunks, dopers or for just being a total embarrasment at a venue. Those are always the easy ones. The thing to remember whether you are firing or being fired is: No matter who you are, there is always one person in the crowd that can play or sing better than you and has probably never even been in a band. We can all be replaced so never avoid letting someone go for fear that they can’t be. We all can.
Wammy – http://bandmix.com/wammy1/
well, the flip side of this is “how do you leave a band?”
i’ve left a few bands that, admittedly, weren’t the most serious of artistic ventures. first time, i was a bassist in a pop/punk outfit. i was in school and had a part-time job, so i didn’t really have time to be in a band. i respectfully called up the singer/guitarist, and told him i couldn’t do it, that it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to have some who’s half-committed. he was pissed for awhile, but i was respectful so in a few months i was going to their shows and everything was friendly.
second time, i was the bassist in a similar type setup, and we had been rehearsing to record a demo. this one was casual too, but one day, after weeks of serious rehearsing and hashing out parts, the leader of the band unilaterally decided that he wanted to bring in a new bassist (a guy i didn’t like before this even happened) and that i was going to become a guitarist. now, i’m actually more comfortable on guitar, but i had joined this band so i could play the bass. plus, i had my parts all down. so before entering the practice room the next time, i took a few swigs of whiskey in my car (for courage). then when all the members were there, i told them i couldn’t do it, that it was wrong of them to make me relearn different parts without consulting me and that i didn’t like the new bassist (he was in the room). it was kind of tense, and to this day i haven’t spoken with that new bassist. i probably shouldn’t have said the part about not liking him, but oh well.
Haha sweet post. Because y’know . . . being in a band is real life, and you just gotta get on with it.
Ha! Good post from a lot of different perspectives. I knew a band from around here and when they wanted a member out they simply would have practice with the new member at a different location. What makes it worse is it happened more than once and the member who planned it out the first time had it happen to him the second time.
[…] so much for all the quotes. I grabbed some and posted them in a topic on my blog. Check it out at: How to fire someone from the band The way bands do it Now I’m thinking about the flip side question: ‘How to leave a band’. Same concept as for the […]
[…] how you guys dealt with firing band members and i got some great stories. you can check the out at: How to fire someone from the band The way bands do it Anyways, now i was thinking about asking the flip question: ‘How does one leave a band’. Answers […]
What about the classic-Pretend to be breaking up,only to reform a short time later ,without the poor persona-non-grata.
When the lead singer is a female and she is doing you then dumps you, you just say either she goes or I go… Then someone else will quit because they don’t want to put up with such BS! In my case the band broke up… But if you wanted to get rid of someone you could contrive this story, wait for the other person to quit, and then reform the band… If you’re a real scumbag you can collude with the member(s) you want to keep and let them in on what’s going on…
haha, “she is doing you then dumps you” that’s rock n roll get over it. Is the priority making good music or getting you dick wet. The later is fine as long as your not fucking it up for the rest of the band.
When you want to leave a band, its usually not a mystery. Its especially hard if you are all friends. So if you’re trying to leave a band usually your bandmates will catch the vibe. Don’t waste your time in a band that you’re not 100% happy with. Being in a band is like dating someone, you’ll have good times and bad. Either deal with it, or get the fuck out.
Thanks
i been fired from bout evey band i was ever inn imm gladd ha real glad-now i whant to get back in a band and ill just use a different name and im gladd -play a different instrument ha- ive spent time vondering about bands and how to get back at them-but why were all human and wee all get sick and ole and die ? so why worry bout it ha
i hope this reccesion makes it really hard on bands ha-what about the bands that steal your ideas and methods and compositions then fire ya ha ever think of that ha ?id rather be dead than have othere mucsians make money from me tip when fired track down band and set off sulpher bombs and heckal em and when the bouncer throughs you out break hiss kness
i was reheasing with this dude tim broghy and we recorded tyhe album it took like 3 months well anyway when it was over we all whent over to band practise and when wee knocked on the door timm and them were just sitting there and they just acted like they didnt hear us see tim got the band to play on the album but then after ut was over he acted like we didnt exist
[…] to quit the band How to fire someone from the band Which musician do you find to be the most annoying in a band (1) Which musician do you find to be […]
The band I’m in now has a singer that is female and she sings too soft and slow and dragging the band down a path we don’t want to go so we want her out but don’t know how to tell her, because we still want to be friends.
Your post was 2009 so I’m curious how you resolved it???
do it your self , what i mean is , your never going to make it anyhow , so what you do is build a studio in a garage , play drums , bass , piano , guitar , digital mix your own stuff.
and what you do is you just jam with people and you play gigs and as soon as they want to do somthing else thats really out of the question , just let it blow up in there face ,
ex. ego ( ok play gigs and as soon as the guy gets in a fight at a gig or does somthing dumb , say this is why your fired and i no longer want you in my life .
it has to be somthing non band realated
a ego tistic person is bound to do somthing dumb
it gives you a pocket to say they looked bad ( and if they try to say ” no man i swear i didnt mean it ” thats it get a caller id phone dont answer the phone , the dude will talk shit expect it . it just makes you more famous anyhow , also its good to own a gun , and make it present that you shoot guns
then the person you fired wont mess with you
basically fire people on personal reasons
the only real music reason to fire someone is: if there trying to steal songs or playing music to get chicks or be liked.
christian musicians are more better band members , because of hummble ness , but dont take advantage of there nice ness or youll just drive them away
alpha male becomes a issue
if you have a alpha male in the band Quit
if you cant fire some one you just quit yourself
suck it
When you are older (post-rock-star age), bassists and drummers have a higher scarcity value. As one of these guys, you can just say that YOU are the guy who is leaving and then re-form with the other bandmates. It’s not the boldest/bravest move, but if you’re doing it for PERSONAL reasons instead of technical/proficiency reasons you won’t feel so bad
We’ve been a band for almost 2 years now. Had several guitarists. The one we have now is bringing in outdated material and is adamant about not playing others suggestions! The last 2 shows we played SUCKED!!!! He forgot his lead, walked all over the piano solo and basically derided the band as subordinate incompetents! Had a long talk with the drummer, bass player and vocalist, piano player. We come to the conclusion He is no longer contributing or helpful to the group’s interest. It is a GROUP, not a solo act!
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The unity of a band holds together if you all have the same vision. If you all are together and want the band to really go far…then you have a good team. Once the visions in the band members become varied…youre just running on fumes.
The problem then arises that the booking situation begins to hurt because the members with their own vision want to do their own thing.My band members going on other bookings and not with us,while in MY BAND is CRAZY!
Its hard to work with people knowing that they are slowly packing their bags in front of your face. If confrontation does not work well with the members…then as a leader you have to release them to their own designs.
Loving emails are not a bad thing ESPECIALLY if the dismissal is non-negotiable. What you dont want to happen is that the dismissal is run like a democracy. Its not up for debate. Theyre GONE! Love them…embracing that you all had a great run and move on. Most likely they will feel down the road that the dismissal is the BEST THING that even happened to them. They will either sink or swim.
As a leader in the band you have to embrace members as temporary anyway. When they happen to stay for years and years and keep the vision together…consider it a blessing!
What ive learned is to get the 100% committment. NO ONE PLAYS in another band while they are in mine! I pay salaries and expect the right people on the bus are passionate and dont need to be micro -managed either.
I just sacked a band member. He happens to be my best friend and the drummer’s brother. We have known each other for 7 years and started the band together. He had to go because he was never good at guitar and hasn’t written a song in a few years. He plays below average live and is a liability musically. It still hurts though.
For me, I think being “fired” WAS the best thing that happened in my music life. I can now concentrate on my TV career and science.
This wordfest is just a simplified statement, with some ideas altered to dodge being sued by the band that fired me (yes, they threatened to… even though they have no money and I invested $1000s – RIGHT! A nice intro to the nonsense I encountered…
I’m a previously-signed keyboard player from a 1990s act (ended 2002)
After 5 years of faithful and fun live performances as keyboard/sampler person… I should have quit my band, even tried to (repeatedly, but kept being persuaded to remain), after the singer/songwriter was signed on a sole basis to a “pretend” has-been indie manager trying to build his pension pot in his last 10 years of professional life, I think.
But no, I stayed out of loyalty or personal WEAKNESS or some other stupid reason… until after 6 months I got the cowardly EMAIL of FIRING… allegedly, for my attitude (bad jokes? suddenly we were REAL serious – humour disallowed!).
But really I think I was fired for not being happy with the micromanagement from the manager bloke… He was “trying to help” I was told, but in reality he was cripplingly critical, to the point of HUGE counter-productivity, loving to slag off the singer/songwriter’s “subordinates”.
The manager had weird ego issues. He didn’t like being asked why his recommendations about what to play and when, eventually defaulting to criticizing band members for being “defensive” – perhaps like a mild Quincy Jones lol.
But then! I was begged to return (hey only me and the singer were paying rehearsal costs – HELLO fairness?!)… it’s clear to me the singer was being groomed by the manager to build up an ego and a profound shift in character. My advice? Do QUIT before you face the horror of getting fired. That band you’re playing with?
At best for me this was a replacement job, just with (i) different management calling the shots, (ii) no chance to display my own creative/business capability, (iii) getting no money, EVER – despite the topic being broached repeatedly it apparently GOT IN THE WAY OF THE MUSIC (er, just very familiar blues rock retreads my friend) and was just way TOO UNCOOL.
And now those former “friends” won’t even speak to me. Thanks bandmates! Thanks for the return loyalty (this is sarcasm). Although some weird stuff happened with some of the website around the same time (conveniently tied into the PR campaign at the time) but it was easy for them to point the finger at ex-keysman (me).
Unprofessional. Unimaginative. Pathetic. Deluded.
But get real: your likelihood of being vaguely important or interesting or memorable are very very low. Think about that before you complain about being a sub-editor or a producer or a teacher. But no, your blues rock retreads (with a genius reverb and a phaser) are the most thoughtful and imaginative things since the Beatles’ White Album AND YOU’LL CHANGE MUSIC FOREVER.
Perhaps you will be the next Stereohead or Audiobucket or Quintet, on t’other hand. I dunno, it’s unlikely I (or anyone?) will be listening too closely to impact the universe in that big a manner.
There was a lot of hazing, bullying and weirdness once the singer/songwriter got signed. That’s the sort of shizzle no professional needs day-to-day. So that, for me, is why I’m pleased to get be sacked. The loyalty betrayal sucks big hairy balls but hey, all humans can suck from time to time.
And hey, this all ended last March (as in 2012) so I should be over it now, RIGHT????
KUDOS to the writer above stating we should all be on the same page in terms of expectations and deliverablesl
Fortunately I have my Physics PHD to fall back on. And you may see me on telly in a non-musical role. Music is for fools (or the very very talented) – unfortunately AT BOTH ENDS there are in-built leeches who want to manipulate and control you and warp you.
That’s what I like about science instead of music. Its facts are fundamentally unretractable. :)
Bri x
It’s difficult… If there’s no bad blood, I think the most respectful way is to include the person being fired in on part of the process. As soon as the decision has been made, let them know. Don’t start replacing them (auditions, scheduling rehearsals) before they themselves know… aka keeping secrets. Keeping secrets is sneaky, deceitful and disrespectful. They will always find out, and that makes it worse. Don’t play the ‘last gig’ and let them know afterwards. They will always be hurt (there’s no avoiding it), but if you let them know before the final gig, you give them a chance for closure. If there are no secrets and it’s out in the open you call it a ‘bon voyage’ party.
I really enjoyed reading the article my party band in Wiltshire Jamie and the first class http://www.jamie.fm has had a few members over the years. Some great advice on here.